How Words to Live By Came To Life—And Why It Works

What started as a scribbled poem on a notepad in Wadmalaw Island, SC has grown into a pledge used across the United States, guiding kids and adults to become the best version of themselves. We call this pledge our Words to Live By. And since 2007 we have been shouting them joyfully from the top of our lungs.

Born out of love for WINGS kids and a deep desire to be authentic teachers of social emotional learning, Words to Live By quickly became the foundation of everything we do and a guiding light for how we want to live. Loved and embraced from day one, WINGS staff and kids first learned the words in small groups where they added unique hand motions to give the words energy. Then, these small groups came together and recited the Words to Live By in unison -- and over time, each group's gestures melded into one set of hand signals that are still used today. To hear and see Words to Live By recited live is PURE (loud) MAGIC.

Never could we have imagined that a teaching tool would become a way of life or that seven stanzas would define our curriculum, program, and organization. But we’re so grateful for their power.

Words to Live By are more than just a clever poem. Within the Words are lessons that will serve kids (and adults) throughout their lives in whatever they do. So, how are they so effective at fostering social and emotional skills?

 For kids, words like “core competency” and “social awareness” aren’t exactly easy to comprehend. Show a child the CASEL framework and their eyes will glaze over. But tell them they are going to learn a fun poem that has arm flapping and feet stomping, and their eyes light up with excitement. Words to Live By breaks down the complexity, helping to make the skills and lessons understandable for everyone. 

Example: Instead of “Self-Awareness” we say “Love and accept who I am on the inside” and “my emotions are nothing to hide.”

Communicating effectively is an integral part of being on a team, executing any plan, and achieving shared goals. Without it, confusion and uncertainty sets in. Having a shared language (that everyone can easily comprehend) is key to setting expectations and making everyone clear on what their responsibilities are. This is true with adults as they model skills, and with students as they understand expectations for behavior no matter where they are in their day.

Social and emotional learning is less about WHAT you teach, and more about HOW you teach. To effectively teach social emotional skills, you must first possess your own social emotional skills. It’s a mindset that shapes how you interact with others. Adults who model emotional intelligence provide the critical foundation for trusting and positive relationships to be formed. When adults are skilled in the core social emotional competencies, they are supportive and engaging, take responsibility for their choices and actions, manage their emotions, deal with conflicts, and are open to feedback. 

It’s only when the adults possess strong social emotional competencies and fully embrace the “HOW” of teaching that kids can soar. 

Example: When you are feeling frustrated by something outside of your control, instead of saying “This is so frustrating! I can’t believe this is happening to me!” you can say, “I feel really frustrated that [the situation] is happening. Life’s full of surprises! So, I’m going to try something else instead. I think that’s a better choice than getting mad about [the situation].” 

Honing your own knowledge and skills—and having the ability to model those skills for your students—means that you don’t always have to set aside structured time for SEL lessons. While it IS important to set aside time for introducing students to new concepts during lesson plans, SEL doesn’t require multiple time blocks per week to be effective. High-quality SEL is most effective when it’s woven throughout the school day or program time by using a few specific teaching practices and allowing you to turn any moment into a teachable moment. 

Example: “Bella, I noticed that you welcomed our new student, Sydney to your table in the lunch room. You stepped into her shoes and saw what she was going through. Making new friends can be hard sometimes. That was very kind of you.”

Giving students positive feedback when they demonstrate SEL skills is an important way to help students internalize and reinforce the lessons within Words to Live By. While some students react enthusiastically to words of encouragement and praise, other students may be more enthusiastic about a more tangible reward such as an Above & Beyond or Words to Live By award. No matter how you provide recognition, it’s important to clearly state what the skill the student demonstrated and how it made you feel. 

Example: Jessie came to you and told you that she was dragging her hand down the hallway, and a piece of artwork came off the wall. Acknowledging that Jessie exhibited Responsible Decision-Making, you can say, “Thank you for owning your mistake, sharing your ID, and not blaming anyone else, it shows me I can trust you.”

By empowering everyone within the school or organization’s community with the same goals and expectations—and the language to connect to them—we create the opportunities students need to practice and internalize the social emotional skills that are critical to their academic and personal success.